Christian Baby Dolls

As a little girl, I rarely played with dolls: in fact, my doll collection was comprised of a somewhat scary straw-haired baby whose preternatural blue eyes closed when I tipped her way back; and some hand-me-down Barbies from my much more worldly cousins. I took a ball-point pen to the rubber body of my baby doll, tattooing her naked stomach with swirls and lines; I played with the Barbies only on rare occasions, in part because they stank of years’ old cigarettes smoke. Still, despite the lack of mothering practice during my childhood, I think my kids are turning out okay. I haven’t drawn on them (much), and they don’t smell like my Uncle George’s basement.

Still, imagine how much better I might become as a mother had I played with the P31 line of dolls. These dolls, put out by the Blessed Toys company, have “similar features to the popular American Girl dolls but with a more pronounced Biblical message” and are intended to “encourage young girls to pursue biblical womanhood.”

And what exactly is the message? Apparently, that if a girl wants to pursue biblical womanhood, she needs to get into the kitchen, pronto. Each doll comes with “an accessory kit, containing a Bible lesson (based on Proverbs 31:20), two cookie-cutters, a cookie recipe, and a list of exciting activities.” I wonder if those exciting activities include doing several loads of laundry, picking up the crap your family has left on the floor, and vacuuming the living room.Because, after all, a P31 doll inspires girls to “look for good deeds she can do to help everyone around her.”

Good to know that Christian girls aren’t playing with those much-too-secular American Girl dolls. More importantly, I’m glad our Christian dolls let little girls know exactly where they belong.