Mr Right is All Wrong

I relish the days when I can pull on a well-worn pair of blue jeans, my broken-in Merrell shoes, and a soft t-shirt that should have been transformed into a dusting rag three years ago.

And, speaking of throwing out something not fit to wear in public, have you seen the Mr. Right t-shirt?

Mr. Right. He Gives me Eternal Life. He walks on water. He’s Perfect! He Shines Like the Sun. He Will Never Leave Me. He is a Prince! He Died for Me. He Knows the Desires of My Heart. He Opens the Door. He Loves Me!

Available on a hoodie or a tote, this is surely a gift not to be missed for this giving season.

Unless, of course, you have some taste and maybe even a small dose of decent theology. Check out the bold print: “He’s Perfect; He is a Prince; He Loves Me.” Wow! “He is a Prince!” Really? I don’t know, I might rather emphasize one who opens doors. I mean, that way, you can always juggle too many things, arms burdened with bags or books or holding a phone to your ear, and He will always be a step ahead to let you through.

Or, given that so many of our readers are from the Pacific Northwest, wouldn’t “He Shines Like the Sun” be more useful, especially during the long gray days of winter? Who couldn’t appreciate more sunshine then?

Of course walking on water should not be easily overlooked. It clearly is an attribute that comes in handy. I remember once when I had to carry a canoe across the mouth of a small lake in the Adirondack Mountains. I could have used a man who could have made that arduous process a little easier.

I wonder if it ever occurs to those who nonchalantly hurl such messages at others by their t-shirts what others might really think? Do these t-shirt wearers believe–really believe–their shirt is a witness? And, if it is, what is it a witness to?

When I read the Mr. Right message, for example, this is what I think: “not only do you have a narrowly masculine view of God, you apparently see God primarily as instrumental to all things that add comfort to your life.”

Perhaps I’ve just misunderstood. But, I really thought the point of relationship with God is to draw one out of being self-centered, to learn to live a life of service and compassion.

Mr. Right: what could be more wrong?