My husband and I had a little disagreement recently in the fruit section of a local grocery store. We were having company over that evening for a barbeque, and Ron had his heart set on making hamburgers. Fine by me, save that when Ron thinks about serving hamburgers for dinner, he thinks about the meat, some buns, and mustard. If there’s a pickle or two swimming in the refrigerator, he’ll consider serving that, too, and maybe some frozen vegetables as a side dish, hastily warmed up in the microwave once he realizes hamburgers might not be enough.
I recognize that hamburgers and after-thought frozen vegetables might be disappointing for folks coming over to celebrate a holiday: one needs other types of relish, all of which take some chopping; a salad, requiring more chopping; and some side dishes, requiring different levels of preparation. Which is why, in the grocery store, I was arguing for a more simple meal, while Ron was campaigning for what he believed the simplest of meals. What could be harder than pulling the mustard out of the fridge?
The stalemate was broken when he acquiesced, assuming I had my heart set on chicken breasts—totally untrue, by the way, since I like chicken as little as I like hamburgers. The BBQ went off well, the guests were fed, and I got my nap before they arrived, since I wasn’t in the kitchen chopping vegetables all afternoon. But I also felt a little pang of guilt, realizing that I’d disappointed my hamburger-lovin’ husband, and hadn’t given up my own desire for a lighter work load in order to fulfill his need for some red meat.
Clearly, I need some help.
And I’ve found it, in the Proverbs 31 Wife Handbook, and its accompanying workbook, available on my Kindle reader for only $4.00 total. (That Proverbs 31 woman, always looking for a bargain.) The book promises me that I will learn—through the course of 31 days (get it? Proverbs 31/31 Days?)—to be my “husband’s UNSELFISH protector, who cooperates with him, serves him, sides with him, goes to bat for him, saves him, snatches him from danger.” And, I presume, cooks hamburgers and all its accoutrements for his friends, though the book doesn’t say anything about that. Yet.
For the next 31 (ish) days, I plan to go through this handbook. No joke; I purchased it on Amazon, and I always read the books I buy. (And here’s a nice little irony: I went through the Christian FeminismToday website to make my purchase on Amazon, thereby giving a little donation to my favorite Christian Feminists!)
As I work through the book, my husband will surely feel “BLESSED,” and as a result, I will be “HAPPY” (emphasis not mine). The author warns me that the study will hurt my flesh, as I begin to obey what God’s word says about being a help meet, and I’m already thinking “Yeah, it will hurt, especially if I have to make those darned hamburgers for him every night.” Clearly, I need this book because 1) my use of pseudo-curse words shows I’m a reprobate, and 2) I don’t even want to make the easiest meal in the book, requiring hamburgers, mustard, and pickles.
Still, I shall dive in, having been told “this study is not for the faint of heart.” If I want to please my “daddy God,” I need to make sure the big daddy in this house is treated like a king. And hey, we had hamburgers the first night I embarked on the study, so I’m already on the right path. I’ll let you know how the rest of the month turns out.