Schlafly’s New Math: Women Cause Campus Rape

In less than a week, students at George Fox University will be returning to campus for another semester of study, late-night shenanigans, and continued pursuit of a Ring by Spring. At my Christian institution, where the ratio of female to male students is about 60 to 40 (though this might have shifted with the advent of a football program), this means a buyer’s market: that is, if women are real estate, secured through a shiny engagement ring and the promise of a Pinterest wedding.

According to an article published yesterday by Phyllis Schlafly, though, this skewed ratio of female to male students—one pretty common at college and universities everywhere these days—is problematic beyond a few unhappy brides-to-be. Her article, titled “New Math on College Campuses,” proposes that recent well-publicized sex scandals on college campuses are due in some part to the preponderance of women on campus.

By “sex scandals,” Schlafly means rape cases, poorly handled by university administrators, now being investigated by the federal government (this article describes the current situation). Calling them sex scandals changes the equation: the women are more complicit, the men less guilty of brutal, criminal acts.webphyllis

And also, sexual scandals are always the woman’s fault. If they would just stay home with their parents until securing husbands, if they would allow men to compete in the men’s realm of the university, if they would stop insisting that they deserve an education, too: if all these things, then women wouldn’t get raped.

Such an easy solution, with this new math and all.

Schlafly provides several remedies to this “problem”: for one, admissions counselors could set quotas, granting entry to 50 percent men, 50 percent women. She obviously hasn’t talked to admissions folks lately, who must use intricate calculations to figure out how many students admitted will actually show up for the first day of class.

Barring this idea, universities could also stop granting loans, which would compel students to give up partying for hard labor, which would keep them busy rather than hooking up with each other. She may be on to something there, because I’m sure a minimum wage job will totally pay for that $40k education.

And if that doesn’t work, universities should just say “screw you” to Title IX and reinstitute all the men’s sports programs that have been stripped by feminists over the years. In this idea, at least, she seems stupidly sexist about men, too, saying that without ample sports opportunities in college, men have lost their “primary motivation” for getting an education in the first place. Because when ever was a college degree motivation enough for a man?

Throughout her argument, Schlafly reveals a stunning lack of understanding about high education, college sports, Title IX, feminism. Even calling college students “girls” and “boys” reflects any lack of thought or insight about college students, who are predominantly over eighteen, and therefore not really girls and boys at all.

But then again, we’re talking about Phyllis Schlafly here: the women who had made a good bit of money and fame, freely moving about the country talking and writing about her ideas, at the center of which is the sense that women need to stay at home and out of the public eye. Her entire raison d’etre has been to criticize the feminists who have destroyed culture, even as gender equality has given her a platform and a space to share her whacky ideas.

I must say, though, that this latest idea—that “sex scandals” on campus are caused by women being on campus—is perhaps her whackiest of all.